When even Christian role models are unattainably pretty.

    One of the biggest problems for most women is comparison with other women. We constantly see airbrushed models plastered on billboards declaring themselves to be the definition of perfection. Even live, non-airbrushed celebrities embody this idea of the ideal woman: thin, flawless-skinned, long-legged, white-teethed elegance. Where are the ‘unattractive’ women? Hidden away from the limelight for fear that if we discovered that it’s OK to look ‘normal’ then we’d stop investing in the beauty industry! The pressure is inescapable!

But what happens when we turn to Christian role models instead, and even they are stunningly beautiful and effortlessly graceful?

    Searching for encouragement over authentic femininity more often than not means you’re presented with images of beautiful girls with contagious smiles and tender features wearing long, lace dresses and flowers in their hair. Again, there’s a pressure to live up to their standards – only this time it’s even harder because they look that lovely without the help of make-up!

    I’m a fan of a good worship band, but among the ‘big names’ I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman who wasn’t attractive (I know, I know - the joy within her makes her attractive, but there's also an undeniable physical theme here!). Christian media that advertises the fact that ‘God loves everybody’ rarely shows overweight women or acne-prone teenagers. Even in the places we turn to for a reality check and sense of security, we’re too often met by stereotypical ideals.

Where does our security come from then?

    Recently I came across this Bible verse:

(You) ‘shall be my peculiar treasure’ (Exodus 19:5).

    This is the KJV translation, and as I don’t own a KJV Bible I’d never seen it written this way before. Usually this verse mentions something along the lines of being a ‘treasured possession’, but this time the word peculiar really stood out to me! 

    If I asked you why you loved your best friend, chances are you wouldn’t tell me about her hair colour or perfect figure, you’d tell me about all her quirky habits which other people might find weird but you’ve grown to know and love over years of friendship.

    The same is true of God: He doesn’t love us because we fit a mould, He loves us because He created us to break that mould. He sees your individual characteristics, and He smiles to himself at the memory of choosing the little things that would make you into the person you are.

    I’ve never felt like I fit the stereotype of femininity. I’m wacky rather than demure, and I enjoy lifting weights far more than carrying shopping bags. My hair refuses to do what it’s told, and my skin breaks out at the most inconvenient times.  For years I thought that made me less of a woman, but more recently I’ve come to realise that it simply makes me ME!

    So, yes, Christian media should make more of an effort to avoid falling into the same traps as secular media. But at the end of the day we have the choice to listen to what the world tells us is beautiful, or what God tells us is beautiful. When the world bombards us with 'beautiful' women we turn to Christian role models instead, but they are still only human. For the truth we need to go directly to God.

I may be peculiar, but I’m God’s peculiar treasure.

Ruth: Loyalty and Obedience

    As one of only two women with books of the Bible to their name and just five women to be mentioned in the lineage of Christ (Matthew 1:1-17), it’s clear that Ruth plays an important role in the Bible. Reading her story, that’s not surprising – there are numerous messages we can take from her life and character.

Loyalty

    When we’re first introduced to Ruth, she’s just lost her husband, father-in-law and brother-in-law in quick succession, and is left with her sister-in-law and mother-in-law – Orpah and Naomi.    With no further brothers to take over the role of their husband – as was the custom at the time – both young women were free to return to their own family and re-marry, and were encouraged to do so by their mother-in-law. 

    But, instead, Ruth decided to go with Naomi to her home town, far from everyone she had ever known. They were left with nothing, and as the younger, more able of the two it fell to Ruth to find work to provide for them. She resorted to gathering the grains which the harvesters left behind, yet she never complained. Such was her devotion to her mother-in-law!

Authenticity

    Ruth was a widow and a field-worker: the lowest of the low! Yet Boaz – a wealthy land-owner and highly respected member of the community – treated her with respect and recognition. ‘May you be richly rewarded by the Lord… under whose wings you have come to take refuge’ (Ruth 2:12). News of her sacrifice preceded her, and her loyalty, selflessness and humility gained her favour with her boss to the extent that he offered her food and drink and instructed his workers to treat her well. 

    Ruth wasn’t ashamed of who she was, and this is what drew Boaz to her initially. She had suffered enormous loss, and been reduced to a mere servant, yet she never moaned about or regretted her place in the world. 

Obedience

    Upon realising that, as a male relative of Ruth’s husband, Boaz was qualified to marry Ruth in order to continue the family line, Naomi instructed Ruth to lie at his feet while he was sleeping and present herself to him as a deserving wife. Though this was a risky plan, Ruth’s response – ‘I will do whatever you say’ (Ruth 3:5) – reflects her total trust in, and submission to, the authority and wisdom of her mother-in-law. 

    As Christians trying to live the life God wants for us, it’s vital that we are covered by authority and have spiritual leaders for guidance (Banning Liebscher explains this really well in his book ‘Jesus Culture’). Though she was afraid and uncertain, Ruth followed Naomi’s advice boldly and with complete obedience, and received great blessings as a result. Boaz showed her immense love and kindness, and fulfilled his duty as her family redeemer. 

Redemption

    The redemption Ruth received from Boaz is much like the redemption we receive from Christ. Ruth and Boaz had very different social statuses, but Boaz acknowledged her human dignity in the same way as Jesus did when he chose to associate with prostitutes, beggars and lepers. He interacted with her, shared his food with her and treated her as his own family… just as Jesus did! 

    “Why have I found such favour in your eyes?” (Ruth 2:10). How often do we feel unseen, or worse – unworthy to be seen? Boaz saw her as Jesus saw the women He encountered. And that’s how Jesus sees you, too. He doesn’t care where you’re from, who your family are, what career you have, or even what’s happened in your past. He sees you for the beautifully unique person you are. You are seen.

 

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     Through Ruth’s example, we learn that loyalty and obedience to (right) authority should take priority over our own desires. If we submit to our spiritual mothers and fathers, and trust in their wisdom, we will be blessed for our faithfulness. Most importantly, sometimes following God means taking a risk, but He will never abandon us! He sees us, knows us and loves us wherever we are in life. He rewards the deserving and blesses the undeserving.

 

Look out for a follow-up post on Naomi!

The State of Feminism ~ Spoken Word

Videos aren't my usual style, but this has been being built up to for a while...

 

In the beginning He had a plan.

A plan to prosper, not to harm. A plan for unity, not disparity.

To reflect His own image we were born of His creativity,

Male and female He created them: two sexes, one humanity.

Undefeatable in their complementarity.

But then came enmity.

Temptation by self-inflation only ended in oppression.

Infiltration by the enemy manifested in misogyny.

The invisibility of women ignored internationally.

Suffering degradation at the hands of the patriarchy.

Domestic violence isn’t history and warzones just breed anonymity amidst hostility.

Fighting for your country is no excuse for the theft of young naivety.

Made to be captivating, but held in captivity.

Drowned by incapacity to defend, forced to run from the crimes against their purity.

Yet we stay silent.

Instead our goal is the career ladder and the zeroes in our bank balance.

Let’s not restrict our potential, but should money be a priority?

Life’s productivity can’t be reduced to a title or salary, any more than to the status of the men we marry.

Aggression serves no purpose yet we claim it as our weapon.

Such desperation for acceptance that there’s rashness to our reactivity.

Tell me, does that path even have a destination?

‘Cursed’ with sensitivity we deny our vulnerability when in reality

These are gifts encompassed in bravery.

Our own trepidation at rejection is what puts the fear in inferiority

And we get so caught up in the need for approval that we lose sight of the goal.

Since when does equality have to mean superiority?

Do we want to be equal, or identical?

Valued for our uniqueness or for our box-ticking ability?

We impede our receptivity in a culture of sterility.

In this quest for equality we’ve repressed our femininity under the guise of freedom

That’s not sincerity!

Let’s not forget the intentionality of our individuality.

The relationship between Man and Woman has more simplicity than we recognise

And that’s the Good News!

Christ’s is the victory that redeemed us from slavery.

He’s the way, the truth and the life for me.

His radical respect restored our dignity.

The holes in His hands bare His heart though we’re broken inside

Because He truly knew Love when He said ‘Be my bride’.

There is hope.

For a generation of women who yearn for fulfilment not merely achievement.

Who shout with joy, not to make themselves heard.

Who know who they are, and whose they are.

Who feel the security of the Father’s love and profess their God-given personality without shame or false humility.

Not the watered-down version but the return to Eden in all its glory.

Authentic femininity embraced unashamedly.

Man and woman He created them: two sexes, one humanity.