Women of Courage

    For a long time, hearing the word ‘courage’ has touched something in me that I can’t quite explain. It stirs a desire to step out, to challenge myself, and to triumph over fear in the name of Jesus. Perhaps it simply stems from my need for independence (which I wrote about in my last post), but I hope – I believe – there’s more to it!

    My admiration for my namesake has grown so much over last few years – Esther is one of (if not the) most courageous women in the Bible! I once read that although our parents chose our names, they ultimately came from God because He designed the people we would become and knew us even before we were conceived (Stasi Eldredge, ‘Becoming Myself’). That really struck me, because it made me consider why I was given my name. For me this brought the realisation that, more than simply admiring Queen Esther and enjoying the story, I’m called to aspire to and embody her courage. 

    More recently I’ve been considering the huge misconception so many of us have of Mary in this respect. Think of the Nativity story in children’s books – where Mary is portrayed as charmingly and passively accepting the will of God. As attractive as that picture is to a little child, the reality is so much more intense. 

    In saying ‘yes’ to God, Mary didn’t get a gold crown or even a gold star. She sacrificed her reputation, disgraced her family, and faced daily rebuke, judgement and a very real threat of being stoned to death. And yet she was willing to suffer. She stepped out in the midst of uncertainty and fear to do the work God set before her, even to the point of risking her life. She was a brave forerunner for Christ’s mission on earth. She was the definition of a courageous woman!

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

    Pope Francis calls us all – men and women alike – to be spirit-filled evangelisers who have ‘the courage to proclaim the newness of the Gospel with boldness’ (Evangelii Gaudium, #259). Our mission as Christians is to bring the joy of knowing Christ to those who haven’t experienced it, and often that will mean standing against things the world values in order to defend the truth of Christ. It’s not an easy job! It demands courage and strength of character. Courageous men restore our faith and lead us towards Christ, but to me courageous women are stunning. 

    I want to be someone who other people see courage in, and who draws that courage out of others.  I see beauty in strength and grace in bravery, and I’m always so inspired when I meet women who show me these things! Our role as women is more than simply accepting and allowing God’s will – it is, like Mary, to actively engage in that will and have the courage to live it out.

Choose your battles

‘The world kills a woman’s heart when it tells her to be tough, efficient and independent.’       

 John Eldredge, ‘Wild at Heart’.

    As a two year old I made my mum wait painstakingly long while I refused help putting my socks on because I was convinced I could do it myself. Now I lift weights and insist on carrying my own luggage no matter how heavy it is. When I train, I push myself to the limits because I get a kick out of the pain. If I’m told I can’t do something then I’ll be even more adamant that I can.

    Is there any problem with being independent? I so badly want to say no: I am who I am, I don’t have to change for anyone, and it doesn’t bother me. And to a certain extent that’s right!  But the truth is that we weren’t created to fend for ourselves completely – we were created to live in harmony with others: each of us contributing what the others cannot. We’re bombarded with the message that being strong means being driven and not needing anyone else, but real strength is found in being humble enough to accept other people’s gifts.

    Deep down we want to be seen as feminine, we want to be cared for. But we’re scared of what that means. We’re terrified of making ourselves vulnerable, so we push ourselves to keep up with everyone else. I tell myself it’s because I don’t want to be patronised or feel like a burden to anyone. But if I’m honest, it’s because I need to know that I can do it on my own. I don’t want to admit that I need anyone else, because I’m scared of what will happen if one day they’re not there anymore. 

    The world – my world – has taught me to be tough, efficient and independent. It may have had a good go at killing my heart, and for a long time I let it win. But no longer. I’ve decided to take back my heart, even if that means being vulnerable. That doesn’t mean changing who I am. I have a need for adventure, I love to try new things and challenge myself physically and mentally, and to challenge the boundaries of what I can learn. But not at the expense of letting others in. 

    There’s a fine line between capable and stubborn, and it’s a line I’ve been treading dangerously for years. My thirst for excitement is a gift from God, but my need for control is not. By learning to separate the two, I can begin to step into the character that God so delighted in when he thought up who I would be. I can accept help without it being a sign of weakness. I can refine my attitude without restricting my dreams.

    We’re called to clothe ourselves in ‘strength AND dignity’ (Proverbs 31:25)! The two aren’t mutually exclusive, and I’m SO glad about that.