Women are emotional. We feel everything
strongly – good and bad. That’s not because we’re hysterical, it’s because we
were designed that way! We were made to be sensitive to the needs of others, to
empathise with their situation, and to follow our innate and burning desire to
do everything we can to help them. Our
sensitivity is an incredible gift! But it also leaves us vulnerable.
When it comes to our own troubles we tell
ourselves, and each other, that emotional pain is to be avoided. We go for the
very British ‘stiff upper lip’, and convince ourselves that if we ignore the
anguish for long enough it’ll simply disappear. But by blocking out the pain we
deprive ourselves of half of life.
Living, I mean really living, is standing firm in the bad times as well as the
good: not being knocked down by the blows life gives, but not running in the
other direction either. Becoming the people God intends us to be means learning
from our mistakes and being formed by the way we deal with hard times.
For the past few weeks I’ve been working
through Katrina J Zeno’s book ‘Discovering the Feminine Genius’ with two of my
closest friends and accountability partners. In this week’s chapter we came
across this quote, which completely took me back.
“So please, even though it hurts, don’t be
afraid of the pain. It’s the Divine Artist’s tool to carve in you more room for
himself, to prepare the bridal chamber.”
As a teenager I loathed the feeling of
vulnerability. Not being in control utterly terrified me. I closed myself off
from everyone around me and convinced myself that I knew best, that I could
cope on my own, that I wasn’t bothered by whatever happened to me. I grew numb
to pain, and numb to happiness as a consequence – because I learned that you
can’t block one without the other. But I’ll tell you a secret…
I’ve grown to love the feeling of
desperation!
Why? Because it’s in the moments that I feel completely empty
that I’m the most open to be filled up by the Spirit. The times I've stood with
my arms thrown wide in worship, exhausted, weak and utterly desperate, are the
times I’ve felt most alive. When I have nothing left to give, there's no limit
to what I can receive. The heaviest burdens provide the best opportunities to
let Jesus carry them.
‘The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and
saves the crushed in spirit.’ Psalm 34:18
So
I urge you not to be afraid of the pain. Don’t
run from the hard times, or try to deny your emotions. Stand still, and stand strong. Allow
yourself to feel, because it’s not a sign of weakness! You were created for
union, communion and love, and with that comes rejection, confusion and
suffering. In order to experience the first three in all their fullness you
must also be open to the others. After all, if it weren’t for suffering, how
would we know what joy or freedom were?
Thanks for this post. Needed to read that today. God bless x
ReplyDeleteThankyou so much for this post,I can really relate.
ReplyDeleteSince my mum died I closed my self off from my emotions,I thought feeling pain and crying was weak.I told myself I was too strong to be weak.It did not do me good at all.Now,through weakness and pain I can see that that's how we become stronger and that's how we can experience true joy.I'm learning to feel each emotion and benefit from the pain,no matter how hard.God Bless you :)