If you’ve never heard the song ‘Lead Me’ by
Sanctus Real, listen to it now! At this point I could easily stop writing and
let the lyrics speak for themselves…
I LOVE this song, but I can’t listen to it
without getting emotional. My friend and I cried to each other over the phone
when we first heard it.
Why?
Because it hits a sore spot. It hits that wound in all of
our hearts that bleeds the phrase ‘how
come there are no real men anymore?!’ Most of us have heard it asked.
Nearly as many of us have asked it ourselves.
God created us for union and communion with
each other. His unmatchable creativity is such that he designed us to fit
together perfectly in every way. Our lives are the most fruitful and we feel
the most fulfilled when we’re exercising that complementarity. We need men in
our lives – not just husbands, but fathers, brothers, friends – and they need
us. We unlock an extra level of potential in each other.
Sometimes as women we put far too much
pressure on men to become the ideal we think we need. We’re often guilty of
underestimating just how difficult a job they have! Supporting us and leading us
takes an immense amount of strength. But that strength comes from God alone,
and must be continually renewed through prayer and abandonment of self.
Disney has taught us to expect perfection
and settle for nothing less. But Prince
Charming is a lie. No wonder the divorce rate is rising so rapidly: we’re
in for a serious shock if we marry with the false belief that the men who
swept us off our feet and carried us to the altar in their strong arms will
retain that guise of perfection for long.
No man is flawless (neither are we!), and
expecting them to solve all our problems will only end in more heartache.
Christ called us to love one another as He loves us. That means that the most fruitful
relationships will be built on grace and mercy rather than pressure and
judgement. We’re called to love each other including
our flaws, because without that merciful love no relationship can survive.
Disney’s version of ‘Mr Right’ may be
far-fetched and idealistic, but deep down we do have a natural longing to be
supported and guided by a strong man – spiritually, physically and emotionally...
and that’s no coincidence! What we long for is actually the root of what men
were intended to be, we just don’t realise it. We want them to be strong and gentle
and decisive and loving all at the same time… and they can be! But to benefit
from that, we have to allow them to develop those strengths. To have a ‘real
man’, we have to allow him to be a
real man.
Culture insists on mourning the loss of ‘real
men’, but perhaps it’s simply the definition used that needs challenging. A
real man isn’t one who works out twice a day, earns a six figure salary and
buys extravagant presents with money he won’t miss.
A ‘real man’ is one who will lead you with strong hands even when that
means humbly admitting his mistakes.
One
who will discerningly make sacrifices for the greater good of your family.
One
who seeks guidance from his heavenly Father instead of relying on his own
strength.
One
who’d rather walk you to Heaven than drive you around in his Porsche.
One
who looks at your heart before your physique.
One
who prays for you, not just pays for you.
One
who strives to protect your purity not conquer it.
One
who loves you as Christ loves His Church.
…
and these REAL MEN EXIST!
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