The Fear of Rejection

“A woman’s greatest fear is abandonment or rejection.”

    This line, from John Eldredge’s ‘Killing Lions’ series, stood out to me because of its simple truth. In just eight words, the speaker cut straight to my heart. As women we long to be valued. We long to be noticed. We long to be wanted. God offers all three, but we have to learn to trust and accept.

    Rejection is something we’ve all felt, and something that deep down we’re all scared of feeling again. The girls who wouldn’t let you join in their game in primary school, the boy your thirteen year old self was madly in love with but who didn’t even know your name, the times your parents were so swamped with work that they couldn’t hear you voice your anxieties but you were too young to understand why. Maybe even the day your Dad left home without a word and never returned. The memories stick.

 

    Even as adults the world constantly tells us that we have to change ourselves in order to be good enough. We have to achieve success to gain respect. We have to slap on make-up and show off skin to be attractive. We have to be popular to have value: self-worth is measured by the number of friends we have, not the quality of those friendships. The consequence of failure: rejection.

    Being rejected or accepted forms the fundamental basis of our view of ourselves. Acceptance leads to security and confidence, whilst rejection can leave scars which can only be healed through grace. But the good news is that grace is in abundance.

    The God who created you will not abandon you. The Father who loves you will never walk out on you. His family is non-exclusive. The God of the universe counts you as His own. His Son, who suffered unimaginable pain to show His love for you, will never ignore you when you call. There’s no need to fear.

God is faithful. (1 Cor. 1:9)

(He has) loved you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)

For the Lord will not reject his people. (Psalm 94:14)

 

(He) will never leave you nor forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5)

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever. (Psalm 136:1)

As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious. (1 Peter 2:4)